All aboard the Tiananmen tank To the M-I-C give thanks It's Holy Rollin' through the park While you are curfewed after dark Its spotter can fly higher Engines dual Mid-air refuel You'd have to be a fool To duel The battle can find you too You didn't enlist but we're watching you
In skies above they loiter Observing fleas and ticks Parasitic with nuclear matchsticks "Nemo me impune lacessit"
My dentist's office has a note on file stating that I don't want any fluoride. Rather than respecting that and moving on, the staff make it a precursor to a conversation. They tilt me back on that chair and conduct an intervention. They warn me that I might be misinformed if I've been reading the … Continue reading The Fluoride Ride
I woke up this morning in the usual way. I poured a coffee and took a gander at the headlines. Trump says buying Greenland 'a large real estate deal' I'm surprised he didn't say a HUGE real estate deal. What is he talking about anyway? Did Denmark offer to sell Greenland to the United States? … Continue reading Not For Sale
Have you seen that movie, Minority Report? The premise is: in the future, the police can determine in advance if someone will commit a murder and arrest them before they do. You better call the PreCrime division and tell them to get their asses down here because if I catch the person who is dropping … Continue reading Future Crimes (Minority Report)
I have an idea for a great story. I am just fleshing out the plot here, so bear with me. It needs to start in one of those "shithole" countries (as the Leader of the Free World might say). How about Libya? Yeah, that's a good starting point. Now we need a big, bad corporation. … Continue reading Help Give My Story a Title
A man has died in Fresno, California. Although the cause of his death is still to be determined, his last act in life appears to have been participating in a Taco Eating Contest. Matthew Boylan witnessed the event: “It was like he'd never eaten before. He was just shoving the tacos down his mouth without … Continue reading Banned: Food Eating Contests