“Wellies” aka Rubber Boots

In case you haven’t noticed, women are wearing rubber boots as a fashion item now.  It would almost be cool if they picked them up for ten bucks from the hardware store and started a thrifty little trend.  I said almost.  But the boots they are wearing are not that kind.  They are a very special kind of shit-kickers.  They are endorsed by the Queen of England.  Kate Middleton wears them.  I bet if I do an internet search I can find a picture of Meghan Markle wearing them.  Yep, I just did.

Here is something funny.  When I worked in a clothing store, I would serve customers who actually required rubber boots for their job (shoveling horse manure, scraping dead fish off of the deck of a boat, working with acidic chemicals).  These fine folks would shudder at the prospect of paying more than 30 dollars for a pair of boots.

I just checked the price of the Women’s Original Hunter Wellies or whatever the fuck they are called.  $189.99.

Why would “fashionable” women want to pay top dollar to have these so badly?  They certainly didn’t when I was in grade school.  Being seen by one of these lovely ladies in my rubber boots would almost certainly make me the subject of their mockery.  I would sneak a pair of running shoes into my knapsack on rainy days in hope of swapping them for the boots before facing that embarrassment.

Now the embarrassment belongs to society, for we value fashion so far above function, that unbreathable, uncomfortable, overpriced, rubber boots are routinely worn, even on days when they serve no practical purpose.

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