Straight Eye For The Queer Game

Today I was scanning the news and there were surprisingly few dumb stories to complain about. Of course, there was the usual Donald Trump stuff. Nothing new there. Then I saw this news:

Assassin’s Creed creative director apologizes to LGBTQ gamers amid backlash

“Oh no,” I thought, “What foolish thing did he do to upset the community?”

Did he pull a Kevin Pillar (uttering a homophobic slur) or was it more of a Kevin Hart (Tweeting an intolerant Tweet)?

Maybe he didn’t like the official road markings in his city being painted all rainbow-y coloured (more on this another day).

Nope. Ubisoft committed the latest travesty when they released downloadable content (DLC for those who prefer to digest their “English” in three-letter bites) called Shadow Heritage for Assassin’s Creed Odyssey.

I assumed, therefore, that Shadow Heritage must have included some really hateful stuff. Did they not include any LGBTQ characters in their story? Were the players prevented from choosing their sexual orientation throughout the game? Nope. Those parts were okay and Ubisoft was even nominated for an award by the LGBTQ advocacy group GLAAD.

Ubisoft fucked up, though. They boxed themselves in on a story arc that was furthered by a straight couple conceiving a child. And to make matters worse, they dubbed this achievement, “Growing Up”.

How can they force the protagonists of their story to be straight, have a child, and then suggest that responsibility on that level causes you to receive the “Growing Up” trophy?

  1. Because having a baby literally causes one to grow up. Trust me. I don’t believe any offence was meant here.
  2. The title “creative director” implies that he/she/zie/ze/sie/ey/ve/tey/e has creative license over how the story unfolds?

It’s going to be alright. Ubisoft apologized and are altering the cut scene and the naming of the achievement.

Does anyone miss the days when video games were about blowing away NAZIs and the romantic stuff was reserved for movies like Sleepless in Seattle?

Oh shit, we should probably get the ending changed for that film too.

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