Lock and Load (2-Ply Edition)

Have you watched The Good Doctor? One of the plot points in Season 2, Episode 6 has to do with improperly hung toilet paper rolls.

Dr.Murphy doesn’t tolerate an underhand hang and neither do I.

Time to classify the flock. We sheep come n three types:

  • Those who want the toilet paper hung correctly
  • Those who don’t care which way it is hung
  • Those who use a bidet

Those that prefer an underhand hang can be safely ignored. This group’s members are just saying they like underhand to oppose group number one, as there is no logical reason to prefer underhand above overhand.

So, since a roll can be absent, hung underhand or hung overhand, that’s three potential states in which the toilet paper roll can exist .

We’ve established that underhand is illogical. Obviously leaving an empty roll is wrong. So now we are down to two states: Right and wrong. Black and white. Binary. Nice. Now we’re in my wheelhouse.

One might ask, “What’s the big deal which way the toilet paper is hung?”

I don’t know. Why would I want to do something the wrong way, when doing it the right way takes the same effort?

It’s good practice for other depletables that can be oriented in one of two binary states:

  • Bullets
  • Batteries
  • Light bulbs
  • Tampons
  • Contact lenses
  • Diapers

Put any of the above in the wrong orientation and you will have trouble.

Stay out of trouble folks.

13 thoughts on “Lock and Load (2-Ply Edition)

  1. OMFG! LMAO!

    You just HAD to bring up tampons, again, huh?

    I’m an overhang type. Underneath is a serious no-go…I mean, like, ‘stop the planet from spinning’ type thing. Gotta have your priorities. 😆

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    1. Tampons – greatest invention of the 20th century!

      Speaking of inventions – I came across the 1891 patent for perforated toilet paper, invented by Seth Wheeler, and the diagrams clearly show an overhand hang.

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      1. I would have to disagree with the tampon thing (for its intended use). There’s toxic shock syndrome and endometriosis from back-flo. Clogging up the plumbing, in a building or a person, is not a good idea. I suffered from the latter. They ARE, however, very good for plugging up bullet holes!

        That is too cool! And, that settles it. Be on top! LOL!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Ooh, that sucks. I’m sorry you had those complications. I just thought it was a great invention in that it helped women to have a more equal role in society. I might start carrying a few on my person in case I ever get shot. It’s a good possibility.

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  2. You left out one other option: Those who are too lazy to put the new roll of toilet paper on the metal thingie so they just sit it somewhere–like on the floor or on the back of the toilet. By the way, having lived in countries where there are lots of bidet options, I wish there were more such options in this part of North America.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I hear you… we have toilet paper rolls on the side of the bathtub sometimes.

      I bought a bidet attachment for my toilet the other day and there is no going back. The only downside is now I can’t poop anywhere else. I guess I’ll have to move to Europe.

      Liked by 1 person

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