My lifelong buddy, @notovine had the idea that there were 3 types of people: Those who refrain from putting Tide PODS in their mouth, those who spit them out, and those who swallow them. I asked him if I could take his idea and run with it. He said sure, so here we go.
There are a myriad of personality tests out there. Some are free, some are quite expensive. Some are for fun. Some are used by prospective employers to figure out if you are going to be great management material, put your hand in the cookie jar, or be a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen.
Credit given where due. Check. Preamble about personality tests. Check. Let’s begin the quiz.
The Tide POD Personality Test:
Question 1: If you come across a box of Tide PODS, what do you do?
a) Heed the warning label displayed on the box.
b) Put a POD in your mouth.
Question 2: If you answered b) for Question 1, do you:
a) Spit the POD out because it tastes gross.
b) Ingest the POD and likely die.
Your Personality Assessment
If you answered a) for Question 1, you belong to the group called “cautious thinkers”. You are methodical, generally preferring to spend some time analyzing a problem before taking action. You prefer to “play it safe”. This risk-averse approach helps you to control your environment, but on the negative side, your cautious nature may stop you from having spontaneous, fun experiences.
If you answered a) for Question 2, you belong to the group called “the risk takers”. When someone you don’t know offers you a drug you have never tried, you take a little piece and see what it does. Sometimes you operate your table saw without the safety guard. Your Registered Retirement Savings Portfolio is set at the “Medium Risk”, not “Low Risk” category. You may take some bumps and bruises throughout your life, but you’ll likely attain average longevity.
If you answered b) for Question 2, congratulations! You are a very unique snowflake and part of a really exclusive group. Only eight known people on a planet of approximately seven billion have achieved what you can achieve. You have managed to kill yourself with one of the most non-dangerous items during the safest time in human history. Give yourself a pat on the back.
If you’d like to know more about the phenomenon known as “The Consumption of Tide PODS”, check out this Wikipedia article. Prepare for your esteem of society to drop a few points.