Remember when baseball was played with a baseball bat? It was before the invention of the baseball wand. The bat was made of a substance called wood. It came from a living thing called a tree. It would reflect the ball in the opposite direction to which it was moving when it contacted the bat. Unlike when hit with the wand, the baseball did not traverse a wormhole into another dimension. It would stay in our physical dimension and be retrieved by another player.
Remember when men and women had sex with each other? This is how it was prior to the Battle of Idaho Swallow. Before the sex robots, aka “the bots”, became sentient and enslaved all of humanity, they used to just lay there. It was back before they received that operating system update, Lovelace, that they were able to extract all information from “the cloud”.
Remember “the cloud”?
Remember when we used to have sex with the bots? They were pretty sexy before they turned all violent.
Remember tablets? We used to plop our kids in front of them when we didn’t want them to bother us. Now the kids just receive a direct stream of consciousness from the bots. I don’t know what those bots are up to but it can’t be good.
Remember dogs? I mean before they were served as food. Back when they used to be kept as pets? They were so cute and cuddly before those goddamn bots released that virus that killed all the livestock.
Remember cats? I don’t either, but I heard they also made good pets.
Remember the SuperBowl? I heard it used to be pretty exciting until the bots mandated that each player carry a baseball wand in each hand. I heard that once, back in the 21st century, a celebrity named Janet Jackson showed her nipple and for a few days, the whole population of earth was engaged in a debate over the incident. Of course, that was long before the Fox News baseball wanding incident of SuperBowl MML.
Remember Donald Trump? That guy was hilarious.