What’s your threshold for vigilantism?
I won’t tell you what mine is. I know this blog is being indexed by Google. I know Google plays nice with the NSA. I know the NSA plays nice with Five Eyes. I know any organization with the word “eyes” in the name is watching. Like a good citizen living in 1984, I will keep my nose clean and avoid the telescreens.
Instead, let’s take a look at what the theoretical Prime Dictator from a parallel dimension would do. You can’t be charged with a crime in this dimension if it’s committed in another dimension, can you?
Before we get interdimensional, let’s get definitional. Most of us know what a vigilante is, but let’s define it just to be safe:
From Merriam-Websters, a vigilante is: a member of a volunteer committee organized to suppress and punish crime summarily (as when the processes of law are viewed as inadequate).
I don’t necessarily agree with this definition. I don’t always think a vigilante is a member of a committee. Sometimes they work alone. Ever seen the movie, Frailty? Ever seen Judge Dredd? Unbreakable? Death Wish?
There are a ton of good vigilante movies out there. Why do they appeal so much to us? What has me so worked up?
The evil of this world. The scum of the earth. Those who manage to find the cracks in the system. Sometimes our rule of law is impotent to dispense justice. When the cops and the lawyers fail to see that justice is served, what can we do?
A woman hops out of a Jeep Wrangler and tosses a bag of puppies into a garbage dumpster. She’s a bouncy little cutie in her summer dress. Nonchalantly she tosses a bag of puppies into the trash. Who the fuck does she think she is?
A man and woman park their car at a Home Depot. The rapist, pathetic fuck of a man goes in to buy garbage bags and a hammer to dispose of a toddler that he’s been having fun with for a few days. He’s in there long enough that the woman could go get help, save the girl. Run. Flag down a stranger. But she’s too high on meth.
Then there’s the Canadian sensation who helped her husband serial rape and murder at least three minors (including her sister). She must be serving a long stint behind bars, right? Actually, no. In exchange for her testimony against her husband, she got a lighter sentence. She’s now as free as a bird – and for a while, she was doing some occasional volunteer work at an elementary school. Thankfully the school changed its volunteer policy before something bad happened.
Three stories. Off the top of my head. There are others, like the military Colonel who liked to act out his sexual deviances on the young girls he tortured. Others, like the pig farmer fuck who killed at least 27 women and buried them on his property. Others, like the assailants who “thrill killed” a new father whos only mistake was accompanying them on a test drive. He was just trying to sell his truck via an online classified ad.
I can tell you that in some cases, “justice” was served (if you count being locked up in safety, with access to a library, a TV set in your cell, three square meals a day, and the opportunity to gain a college education – all on the taxpayer dime, justice).
In other cases, the perpetrators are never caught, or they take a slap on the wrist.
What can I do about it? Not much. I’m certainly not going to publicly state on the world wide web that vigilantes should go round these fuckers up and dispense justice. But if we can momentarily jump into another parallel dimension…
…now we’re in a world where the Prime Dictator doesn’t give slaps on the wrist. At a minimum, he dispenses leaf rake spankings that insult and sting, and at maximum, he puts an exclamation point on swift justice.
You don’t have to worry if you stole a loaf of bread to feed your starving family. The Prime Dictator is not without compassion.
But if you’re into whacking toddlers you’ve raped over the head with a hammer you’ve wandered into the wrong fucking dimension.
What would push you to take the law into your own hands?