Yesterday’s post, Vigilante Threshold, might have been a little too dark for some. In the interest of springtime and new life blossoming and all of that, allow me to try to balance that dark stuff out with something lighter.
After all, isn’t balance the desired outcome of nature? Isn’t that why we have North and South magnetic poles, matter and antimatter, protons and electrons, night and day, hot and cold, Democrats and Republicans?
Each equal and opposite force is always pushing against the other trying to maintain balance. I will now neutralize the acidity of yesterday’s post, with a splash of humour – the figurative equivalent of my dentist’s advice to rinse my mouth out with water after drinking coffee.
So without further ado, here are some of life’s lighter disappointments:
A young child in a grocery store. Knowing better, the child asks if he can have a candy bar. He knows the answer will be no. It always is, but it is worth a try. A rare victory. He is permitted to choose one, and only one candy bar from a shelf of many. There is a caveat. Whatever he picks is final. If he doesn’t like the taste of what he picked, too bad. He picks the candy bar with the most appealing label. He picks a Big Turk.
After the groceries are loaded into the car and the child is sitting in the back seat, the mother gives him the candy bar. What a rare treat from a mother who never put up with the whining and begging we see from kids in public today.
The child takes a bite of the most disgusting, disappointing candy he has ever had (with the exception of Liquorice allsorts). He spits it back into the wrapper.
Into the world of sports. The year is 2013. The Toronto Maple Leafs have made the playoffs, which in itself is a rarity over the previous decade. Quickly their fans’ hopes are dashed as the Bruins take a commanding 3-1 series lead. It seems that the Leafs will be hitting the golf course sooner than later, but then a miracle – the boys in blue win the next two games.
They have tied the series 3-3. Even more miraculous is the score in the middle of the third period of the seventh game. The Leafs have taken a 4-1 lead.
The boy who had been disappointed all those years ago by that disgusting Big Turk bar texted his friend, “Even the Leafs can’t lose this one.”
You probably know where this story is going, but two quick goals, a buzzer-beater goal with the goalie pulled, and an overtime winning goal all tended to agree with The Book of Job‘s wisdom that, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away”.
The Leafs have another chance in a game seven versus Boston tonight. If the Hockey Gods truly giveth and taketh away, can this please be the year they GIVE to Leaf’s fans, instead of always TAKING?
I was going to throw another sports disappointment at you, but we all know how game 6 of the 2015 ALCS turned out. We all know that kid interfered with that home run ball. We all know that the Jays should have scored in the ninth, with their two fastest runners on second and third, and the most feared hitter in baseball (and league MVP) at the plate.
If God is a baseball fan, he must have been teaching the Blue Jays a lesson like he did to Job. Hopefully, the story in Toronto will one day end like it did for Job, only with blessings of baseball championships, not sheep and oxen.
I’ve got time for one more. Remember that poor boy who almost threw up from eating Turkish delight? He had a birthday party once. And since he loved the first Ghostbusters so much, his mom made him a promise that he would see Ghostbusters II at the drive-in theatre on his birthday.
In the pre-internet days, you had to check the showtimes in the newspaper to make sure the movie was still playing. I guess his mom and neglected to do so. Imagine the boy’s surprise when he found out that the movie he had been waiting for was no longer showing at the drive-in.
To make up for the disappointment, his grandfather took him for a drive in the country in his minivan. Just what every nine-year-old wants.
This kid grew up lucky though. He got a nice character-building experience that day. Knowing this kid, and knowing how far short Ghostbusters II fell from the original, I know if he could go back in time he would take the country drive.
Do you have any Lighter Life’s Disappointments that you would care to share?