In Sunday school I was taught about all of the classics. David and Goliath. Jesus and the crucifixion. Mary and the manger. Johah and the whale. Noah and the ark. The other ark.
Those ones made great colouring pages.
One day my Sunday school teacher offered me a chocolate bar if I could memorize the books of the Bible in order. I could not. Another time, my science teacher offered me a chocolate bar if I could memorize the elements of the periodic table in order of atomic number. I got to Potassium, or K, if you periodically read tables.
As with the periodic table, there are many obscure elements in the Bible. Sandwiched in between the fun-loving tales of multiplying fish and parting seas, there are some very interesting stories to be found. In a moment I will tell you about what I intend to do about it, but first, some history.
My foray into blogging has given me the opportunity to connect with believers and non-believers alike. Their blogs about the “Good Book” have had me reliving memories of St.John’s United. The uncomfortable pews. The beautiful stained glass art. The large exposed wooden beam at the top of the sanctuary. The smell of coffee in the basement where I was indoctrinated into the practice of worshiping an invisible spirit in the clouds. It was the will of my mother to be baptized and confirmed into the church as was her mother and her mother before her.
So I did as a good boy does and sat through several uncomfortable sessions with the church Reverend. I kneeled at the front of the church in the spot where water was splashed upon my head so many years before. I said some vows.
Once I was confirmed, I was given a box of envelopes to stuff with the money I earned at my part-time job. After the awkward part of the church service where children hold hands, bow their heads, and repeat, I no longer got to retire to the basement for colouring and cookies. I got to stay in the sanctuary and sing long, multi-verse hymns from the “red book” to the slow, hypnotic music coming from the giant pipes above the choir loft. I got to stay upstairs and listen to the sermon.
It was always the same stories about palm fronds and Moses on the mountain.
Was I really to believe that a 1500 page book only had, like, ten stories in it?
It was only recently that I have realized within the thin, crinkly, pages of the B-I-B-L-E are some very strange stories.
So, in the interest of spreading knowledge of what is hiding between Genesis and Revelation, I am going to start a new segment on this blog where I open the Bible to a random page and share with you the first thing I find interesting.
I have been having a hard time coming up with a name for this new blog segment. I have a few ideas, inspired by memories of St.John’s:
- Cubes of Bread
- Reverend Welch’s Grape Juice
- Smelling Permanent Markers
- Pedos Play Guitars
- Holding Sweaty Hands
- Repeat After Me
- What’s Behind That Door?
- Hymn and Haw
What’s your favourite?