Addicts Among Us

A recent study suggests that using your cellphone while shopping may cause you to buy more.

I doubt it.

I imagine the truth is that the types of people that are addicted to staring at screens are the same types of people that are susceptible to marketing, advertising, and impulse purchases.

Addicts.  All of them.

When you’re at the store, please put your cellphone away and pull your grocery cart over to the right (or the left if you’re in Britain or any of the other countries who drive on the left).

I have never figured out why when one drives a car, one sticks to one side, but in the grocery store, all bets are off.  I will also never understand why one would enter a store, stop, and look down at their cellphone, thus blocking the doorway.

Why would one talk or text on one’s phone while the cashier waits for one’s input?  When one gets to the checkout, maybe one should one’s phone down for a few moments to give the person behind the counter some common (or what used to be common) respect.

I would appreciate not hearing hip-hop music through tinny cellphone speakers when one walks by.  I like hip-hop music, but it requires bass, something cellphone’s don’t have.  Besides, maybe I was enjoying the sound of the birds chirping.

Also, why would one put their phone on “speaker” only to hold it a few inches away from their mouth to talk in public?  No one wants to hear one’s conversation any more than one wants to hear one’s music.

If one is in a doctor’s office waiting room, why would one keep their phone volume at a high level while playing a cellphone game?  Does one not know that I am trying to read Maclean’s magazine over here?

*a gang of indoctrinated cellphone addicts pull me off my soapbox and attempt to stone me to death*

But they’ve been glued to their tablets since even before they left their momma’s breast.  They never learned to throw a ball, let alone a stone.  They kick at me, but their muscles have atrophied from riding on e-bikes and e-scooters.  They throw insults, but since they’ve never read a book, the worst they can say is, “S-T-F-U”.

I’m LMFAO as I stand up and slap every last phone out of every last hand.


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