Free the Epidermis (An Experiment)

Warning: If you were a little grossed out by The Great Bidet Debate, this article may not be for you.

I conducted an experiment.  And like the great Sherlock Holmes or the beloved Tony Stark, I used myself as the subject of my experiment.

The experiment ended this morning when I did something I have not done in nearly a week.  I took a shower.

That’s right.  I’m gross.  Or, I was gross until I did what was required of society and rubbed chemicals on my skin and hair.

Don’t get me wrong.  I don’t want to live in a society where no one baths.  But every winter, I experience an annoying problem: dry, cracked, itchy skin.  Of course, if I were a good consumer, I would solve this problem by buying more chemicals to rub on my epidermis.  A little Noxema, or some Lubriderm, perhaps?  I’m not a good consumer.  I don’t even own an umbrella.  When it rains I just put my hood up and play dodge the eye-poking umbrellas.

Usually, by mid-May, my itchy skin problem is long gone.  Not this year.  The cold, dry weather just seemed to linger longer than usual.  Don’t tell this to the climate change deniers, though.

The luxury of being a stay-at-home blogger is that if I don’t shower for a few days, no one will notice.  I am like a tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it.  If no one can smell me, did I really not take a shower?

I conducted the experiment, much to my wife’s annoyance.  Here is what I found:

  • Skin itchiness completely gone
  • My hair could be styled into a faux-hawk without the aid of gel


Talk about too much information.  I feel so much closer to you guys now.


11 thoughts on “Free the Epidermis (An Experiment)

  1. People with textured or curly hair have long known that it is bad for their hair to wash it every day. I believe people with textured hair wash their hair about once every week or two. I, after reading a book of advice for ‘curly girls,’ wash my hair about once every 3 days. That seems to be the sweet spot for my hair. I also use a sulfate-free shampoo.

    Since frequent, hot-water washing is bad for certain types of hair, I can also believe that it would be bad for dry, sensitive skin. Of course regular bathing is important for health, but I think we North Americans, aided by the beauty-industrial complex, may have gone a little crazy with it.

    The late spring has indeed been a bummer. But I thought climate change was supposed to be making the world warmer. Send more climate change!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I’m guessing if the not showering thing got out of hand your wife would give you a hint and blast you with the garden hose and some industrial strength degreaser.
    We’re subtle that way.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You could just shower with water and a flannel (or preferred rubby thing). It is totally non essential to use other products. This works for my otherwise chronically itchy skin. I also quit shampooing for about six months (which didn’t eliminate itchiness but also didn’t make it worse) and now use an organic baby shampoo once every week to ten days (a single bottle lasts 6 months with long hair) and this is the best my skin has ever been. I do use soap to wash my hands though, cos not double that would be gross.

    Liked by 1 person

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