Warning: If you were a little grossed out by The Great Bidet Debate, this article may not be for you.
I conducted an experiment. And like the great Sherlock Holmes or the beloved Tony Stark, I used myself as the subject of my experiment.
The experiment ended this morning when I did something I have not done in nearly a week. I took a shower.
That’s right. I’m gross. Or, I was gross until I did what was required of society and rubbed chemicals on my skin and hair.
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t want to live in a society where no one baths. But every winter, I experience an annoying problem: dry, cracked, itchy skin. Of course, if I were a good consumer, I would solve this problem by buying more chemicals to rub on my epidermis. A little Noxema, or some Lubriderm, perhaps? I’m not a good consumer. I don’t even own an umbrella. When it rains I just put my hood up and play dodge the eye-poking umbrellas.
Usually, by mid-May, my itchy skin problem is long gone. Not this year. The cold, dry weather just seemed to linger longer than usual. Don’t tell this to the climate change deniers, though.
The luxury of being a stay-at-home blogger is that if I don’t shower for a few days, no one will notice. I am like a tree falling in the forest with no one to hear it. If no one can smell me, did I really not take a shower?
I conducted the experiment, much to my wife’s annoyance. Here is what I found:
- Skin itchiness completely gone
- My hair could be styled into a faux-hawk without the aid of gel
Talk about too much information. I feel so much closer to you guys now.