This post is about my two true loves: Wealthy people killing lions and sarcasm.
I love it when rich people travel to faraway places to kill lions. They are especially worthy if they find the time to take out a few wildebeests while they are there. It melts my heart when I see their pictures on my favourite social media outlet, Twitter or my second-favourite, Facebook.
These Sahara hunters are just too awesome for words.
I was shocked that people were actually outraged about this story in the news today. It describes the adventure of a Canadian couple who travelled abroad to shoot a lion. They faced backlash on social media for posting their picture and announcing their successful hunt. I don’t know about you, but I think those folks are cuter than a dead baby dolphin washed up on a beach.
I’ll keep their names out of my article. A man like me uttering the names of such classy individuals would be worse than a leopard trying to sleep in a tree in its natural habitat. How dare me and how dare he. He deserved what that high power rifle dispensed. So I won’t say their names. I’ll just call our travellers Mister Tribal Tattoo Sleeves and Miss Blondie Ex Stripper.
They are so lovely in the photo, candidly captured by the photographer, kneeling behind the carcass of that giant lion for a kiss. So romantic. I think he even slipped her some tongue.
Oh, how I long to be like them. It would be such a treat for my children if I could point to each and every one of the exotic animals in our Wildlife Fact File and tell them, “Yes kids, Daddy killed that.”
Why do they do it? Is it for the thrill?
Nope. They just want one of those lion scarves that James Earl Jones wore in the movie, “Coming To America”.
Remember, most folks out there are just looking for the next thing to spend their money on. While a new sixty-inch screen for watching Netflix might quench our thirst, the higher members of society have much more refined palates.
We go for a Starbucks. They drink lion blood.