I put my shorts on backwards yesterday. Why? Because I did what muscle memory dictated. I oriented the tag on the inside of the shorts to the back. It’s where most garment manufacturers put their tags. I have known this since I was two years old and have been putting on shorts (and pants) with a high degree of accuracy ever since.
Only something had changed. The tag on this pair of shorts was now at the front, next to the drawstring. It had moved. But how?
Possible explanation 1: I never noticed the tag position before. My response: bullshit. I’ve had these shorts for over two years. I put them on with tag-to-the-back every time. Because that’s how I put on shorts. Always have, always will.
Possible explanation 2: Someone switched them out for another pair to fuck with me.
Possible explanation 3: My mind/memory is deteriorating.
The scary part is that number three seems most plausible.
But maybe that’s what they want me to think…