A man has died in Fresno, California. Although the cause of his death is still to be determined, his last act in life appears to have been participating in a Taco Eating Contest.
Matthew Boylan witnessed the event:
“It was like he’d never eaten before. He was just shoving the tacos down his mouth without chewing.”
Apparently, the poor guy couldn’t handle his tacos and about seven minutes into the contest he collapsed and hit his face on a table. The contest ended immediately.
If the Prime Dictator was calling the shots, all contests of this sort would end immediately. For obvious reasons.
Imagine an advanced alien species looking down on us in 2018 when “professional eater” Geoffrey Esper downed 73 tacos in eight minutes during the Taco Eating Championships.
They would probably say they have not seen such gluttony since the Brie Wheel incident.
And then they would obliterate us. As we deserve.