Am I a Writer?

“Writer” sounds a lot better than “Stay at home loser”, so maybe I will go with that for a while.  When my Dad bounced between jobs he used to call himself an “entrepreneur”.  I try not to call myself a “blogger” because inevitably my friends and family will ask, “Can I read your blog?”

My answer would probably be, “Uh, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.  You might realize how actually fucked up I am.  Or you might discover something mean I said about you, like how I hated looking at four albums of your vacation photos.”

Maybe I am just jealous because I haven’t been on vacation since 2008.  Maybe I am scared to go on vacation because every connecting flight to a tropical destination goes through the U.S.  Am I just being paranoid?  I don’t want the TSA feeling up my privates or putting me in one of those microwave scanners.  Will one of my teeny-tiny online marijuana purchases (from the one-hundred percent legal Ontario Cannabis Store) show up in some database that will lead to my incarceration at the border?  I don’t want to end up in one of those cages like at the Mexican border.  I do not want to be in that situation.  I don’t want to be stateside when Ronald McDonald decides to take his clown show to the next level.  A scary level like nuking a hurricane (or Greenland).

Please don’t take me the wrong way.  I love the U.S.A.  I used to travel there a lot.  I met a lot of wonderful people there.  It is my second-favourite country.  I had a lot of good times there.  I continue to meet many amazing Americans online.  I love you guys.

I’m just afraid to go there right now.

That’s not too surprising.  I’m practically afraid to leave my house.  So I write a lot.

Actually, I type.  Grammarly tells me what synonyms I need so I don’t have to flip through the leather-bound thesaurus my Grandpa gave me in 1987.  Grammarly tells me “doncha” and “gimme” aren’t real words.  I only had to consent to a monstrous legal document in order to use it.  Don’t worry, I didn’t read it.

I’ve often wondered if writing would be more exhilarating on an old typewriter with that satisfying ka-chunk of the arms striking the paper through a ribbon of ink, but I backspace way too much for that.

So am I a writer?  I’m definitely eccentric enough.  On the other hand, I’m not making any money doing it.

It’s probably good enough to put on a resume.  We all know you don’t have to tell the full truth on those things.

Anyways, I’ll catch up with you later.  I have a Block Party to get to.  Why doncha all join me?

 

 

46 thoughts on “Am I a Writer?

  1. *Holds up a sign with an arrow pointing towards the location of the party*

    I still want a typewriter. Although, I did pause for a moment when I read about the backspace issue. It brings me back to when I was younger and I would start writing in a new notebook. Focused on not making ANY mistakes. At some point it happened and I would end up tearing that page out. Sometimes only a few pages remained in those notebooks. After a while, I stopped caring. Once the first mistake happened, I just let lose. When you’re using a typewriter, you can just toss out that page and start over again. Nothing TOO bad.

    I hide that blogger label, too. A write, therefore I should call myself a writer. And sometimes I do. But rather quietly. I think getting published is the next rank. And then actually earning money from my writing. If I could quit my unrelated job and do writing full time, THEN I would have no excuse. Or would I?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. I hope it was okay to promote the party. I should have asked first. At least I didn’t hold up a sign, “FREE BEER”.

      My desktop computer has a noisy mechanical keyboard and it sort of sounds like a typewriter! Maybe that’s good enough for now.

      Getting published would definitely mean you are a writer, through and through. If that is your goal, I hope you accomplish it one day.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. It is most appreciated. My readers got used to me posting in the mornings, so me starting this party afternoon might have taken them by surprise. I might have to repost it myself.

        Thank you for your wishes.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. I can relate, heck…. my friends don’t even know I blog. God forbid! One of them might read something about themselves and goodbye friendship.
    Can’t really blame you for wanting to avoid us right now, with Ronald in command things are a tad bit crazy.
    As for vacation photos…well, I plead guilty to that. I love to share mine!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one blogging in secret.

      Truthfully, I love to share my photos too, I just try to keep it to a reasonable number. The photos you post on your blog are usually pretty interesting and/or entertaining.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I just announced last night, to members of my HS graduating class that I blog. No one enquired further. Only a handful of them are truly computer literate, i.e. understand what a blog IS. Most can use a computer for work but, ask them where certain files are on a computer…blank stares. I was, at one time, the entire class’s webmaster for our reunion site. Then, everyone migrated to FakeBook. I told them all I was not on social media except for my blog and…I got crickets. Suits me.

    You had a job interview. How did it go? I was mostly gone for six weeks.

    Liked by 1 person

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