At the end of this article, I invite you to VOTE in the comment section: who do you prefer, Taylor Swift or TOOL?
I know what you’re thinking, “It must be a slow news day if BlackSheep is writing about Taylor Swift.”
There are scary implications to this story that I have picked up on that need to be reported to the public. As the only regular writer on NotSheepMinded I have to wear many hats: Prohibitor of senseless products, bitcher, complainer, fiction writer, bad poet, ray of sunshine, and on occasion, journalist.
So allow me to report.
The American progressive rock band Tool just released their first album in 13 years. Legal battles, countersuits, and perfectionism were among the reasons why it took them so long. Their new album, Fear Inoculum, hit the shelves last Friday and it is trending very well. So well that it poses a good chance of unthroning Taylor’s latest album, Lover from the top spot on the charts.
That isn’t sitting too well with Taylor’s fans. They’ve taken to social media to try and stop it.
We’ve almost reached the point of this post where I am going to preach to you about the sins of the cellular phone, or as it is now ironically known, the “smartphone”.
First, let me put on the hat of a music historian.
My favourite album, and in one sheep’s humble opinion, the best debut rock album of all time, Appetite for Destruction, finally reached number one on the Billboard charts in August of 1988. Welcome to the jungle, baby.
Then, horrifyingly enough, it was dethroned the very next week by Def Leppard’s Hysteria. Then Steve Winwood took the number one spot. Then Tracy Chapman. Then Def Leppard again.
You couldn’t take to social media in those days. You couldn’t stream the album on repeat. All you could do was buy the album yourself and get your friends to buy the album. Of course, why would they do that when you already made them a “tape”?
Now it is different. You can put the plea out to your quote-unquote ‘friends’ in virtual or IRL (In Real Life). Together you CAN stop one of the best rock bands of all time from outselling one of the most popular pop acts of all time! Here is a real-life example:
Keep streaming guys! This band Tool is dropping a new album after 13 years (lmao 13) is okey but.. We still have a chance! STREAM #Lover by Taylor Swift HARDER! Also YNTCD and Lover seems to doing well so.. We have work
Which brings me to the part of the article we’ve all been waiting for: The scary implication of this news story that I mentioned earlier:
The advent of the cellphone is making our youth stupid, illiterate, and annoying.
They can’t spell, they can’t punctuate, and they have thrown away their thinking caps. Please slap these devices out of your kids’ hands before it is too late.
In closing, allow me to leave you with some ignorant tweets from the news article I referenced earlier:
lol who is tool & who be buyin that
tool is gonna block taylor’s second week
Grandpas discovered itunes i guess
omg the length of each song made me shook
These tweets are making me shook. Case dismissed.