Warning: This Post is Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

Every once in a while, a blogger writes a post that resonates so strongly with his potential audience that it catapults him to instant notoriety.

This is not that post.

In school, we used to play a game.  It was called, “What is wrong with this sentence?”  As adults, we can still play.  Try this headline from Hello! Canada on for size:

Meghan Markle re-wore her dress from Archie’s public debut for her Skype call this weekend.

If you are interested in this “news” story please go kill yourself immediately.

“Whoa! BlackSheep you cannot say that!  You’re gonna get kicked off of WordPress!  What if someone actually did kill themselves?  It would be your fault.  WHAT ABOUT YOUR SOCIAL RESPONSIBILITY???”

You’re right, Mysterious Speaker who often speaks in my blog posts.  Maybe death is too harsh of a punishment for the person who got a boner from a Princess wearing the same pair of clothes twice.  May I suggest instead stepping down hard on a tines-up garden rake?

Before you ask, no, someone did not piss in my Corn Flakes this morning.  Although that really did happen at the Kellog’s factory here and, closer to home, here.  To be fair, the second guy was peeing on Rice Krispies, not Corn Flakes.

In more uplifting news, people are smashing their Keurig machines.  But it is not because they read my post about the Keuring brewing system.  It’s the MAGA crowd’s equivalent to buring a flag or taking a knee during the national anthem.  A protest against Green Mountain, the producer of single-use plastic cups for our unhealthy beverage convenience.  Cups, that if stacked end-to-end, would wrap around the earth like the threads of a baseball’s inner core.

I must apologize.  The segment of my brain that rants about K-Cups just hijacked this post.  It’s that tiny node sandwiched between the node that drives a manual transmission and the node that used to look at boobs before it became unacceptable to do so.

The coffee-machine smashers aren’t standing up for the environment.  The Libtard-haters are mad because Green Mountain pulled its ads from one of their favourite FOX shows, hosted by Sean Hannity.  The coffee giant’s board of directors probably don’t really give a shit that Sean stood up for Roy Moore enjoying fourteen-year-old girls any more than the Pope probably doesn’t really give a shit about his priests enjoying fourteen-year-old boys.

Do any of these idiots who are smashing their coffee makers realize that Green Mountain is owned by Jab Holdings and Jab Holdings is owned by something else and that something else is owned by something else?

And at the top of the pyramid are a handful of billionaires who also happen to enjoy flying to pedophile islands.  Did I mention they also control the news media?  That’s why we know more about celebrity wardrobe malfunctions that we do about the way our systems of government and finances work.  Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain.

It’s beautiful, isn’t it?  Greed, pollution, pedophilia, unnecessary manufacturing, obsession with celebrity, and addiction to drugs and alcohol…

Make sure you get to the polls so you can vote for the next clown who will do absolutely nothing about it.  On your way there, make sure you buy the latest iPhone so you won’t be embarrassed when you FaceTime your friends.  On the way back, buy a case of Coors light so you can forget about everything I said.

“But BlackSheep”, says that Mysterious Speaker who often speaks in my blogs, “What are YOU doing about any of it?”

I’m so glad you asked.  I’m taking the advice of my Christian friends and letting Jesus take the wheel.

Thoughts and prayers everyone.

 

42 thoughts on “Warning: This Post is Not Everyone’s Cup of Tea

  1. Not a Sean Hannity “fan” by any stretch but to say he “stood up” for Roy Moore is very misleading and inaccurate. You can’t leave out half of it. Hannity first called for him to drop out of the race, then I think after Moore wrote him a letter, decided due process should probably happen (he had denied all this) and the voters could make up their minds about that. But he was far from standing behind him. nor did he intend to say the 14-year old accuser was “consensual.” That is clear and even most of the other news stations conceded that was not what he meant. it was all about innocent until proven guilty which doesn’t exist in this country anymore, certainly not for conservatives.

    As a writer, I am disgusted most about the lack of hard news. And what they all choose to leave out. BTW, Hannity is an editorial, opinion show, not hard news. Hard news does not exist anymore with the exception of Chris Wallace–on Fox News, but a Democrat. He’s capable of asking everyone the obvious questions. The rest, no. But at least Hannity’s show isn’t claiming to be hard news.

    Lots of strange people on these Epstein plane rides it appears.

    AND coffee is not an “unhealthy” beverage–it is now touted as one of the healthiest beverages you could choose — k-cups notwithstanding.

    Still, funny post. I like your style.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for the compliment.

      You probably have the more accurate facts in the Hannity story. Thanks for clearing it up. It was the idiots smashing the Keurigs that I really wanted to address. Hannity was just my lead-in.

      Coffee has been jumping between healthy and unhealthy in the news for most of my life. Same as eggs, milk, wine and beer. I’d say it has health benefits, but I wouldn’t call it healthy.

      Like fluoride, which my dentist claims is healthy, I don’t have enough time to go deep into all the studies. I know coffee causes me feelings of anxiety and loose stools, but I saw a study today saying it increases longevity.

      So I don’t know. By the way, I am a coffee drinker.

      Thanks for stopping by to leave a constructive comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The problem with news today isn’t that it’s right wing or left wing…. it simply isn’t news anymore. It’s talking heads expressing their opinions, unverified Facebook posts and Tweets from bizarro world. I’m old enough to remember the day you watched (or God forbid, read ) the news and things were reported. They told you what happened, where it happened and when it happened. Then you made up your own mind. Ah, the good old days.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ah, the good old days when journalists went to the scene to do reporting. Before they would get caught standing in front of green screens, pretending they were there.

      When they risked life and limb like Sally “Tally” Atwater and Warren Justice did.

      The news was more Up Close & Personal back then.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. What a genius beginning. I’m glad I wasn’t drinking while reading it.

    Actually, the middle part continues to be funny, too.

    So you no longer look at boobs?

    I sigh whenever I hear of someone destroying their own property in protest.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. 😃this was an EXCELLENT post. I like the parts where parts of your brain hijacks the story and takes on a complete different tangent. It’s always the oddest and random thoughts which make for the most interesting conversation.
    I am looking forward to reading much more from you!!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I can’t complain about the destruction of Keurig machines. The Keurig peeps don’t care. They got their money. I will follow that up with, I don’t care about Meghan or Hannity.

    What I REALLY want to know is, can you shift gears AND stare at boobs at the same time?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It is kind of dumb to destroy something in protest after you’ve already paid for it.
      Green Mountain’s stock price did take a small hit but it will be back up before Christmas I bet.

      I can shift gears, drink a coffee, have a smoke, change CD’s, use my cellphone (not that I would) and do anything else at the same time. Multitasking!

      Like

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