Goddammit. I've been trying to get this hundred dollars in data charges fixed all week. I'm gonna have to call Heavenly Wireless again get this sorted out. Beep-boop-beep-beep-beep-boop-boop-beep-boop-boop-boop...Rrriiinnng...Rrriiinnng "You have reached Heavenly Wireless. This prayer may be monitored for wickedness, non-circumcised penises, wearing garments of two dissimilar fabrics, unclean food in the stomach, unclean thoughts … Continue reading What if your Cellphone Provider was Like Jesus?
When you live in a country with the Metric System you do a lot of conversions. The drive to my cottage is two hundred and seventy-four kilometres, but in my post Leaving Eden, I Americanized it for y'all and said one hundred and seventy miles. This post, however, is not about conversions of units, it … Continue reading Conversions (An Invitation)
There's a story I came across today, In the Bible on a random page. I compared it to a matching verse, After a quick Wikipedia search. I started to have a little fun, In Chronicles One, verse twenty-one. It was so much fun I wanted some more, So I checked Samuel Two, verse twenty-four. As … Continue reading Tyler Durden (A Poem)
Hell. We say "H-E-Double Hockey Sticks" when kids are around. My kid calls hell the "H" word. It's such a scary place that you can't even say it. It scares the shit out of some men so badly that they are afraid to glance at a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition for fear of frying eternally. … Continue reading One Way Ticket to Hell
Why did God have men write the Bible for him. Was he illiterate?
The Jehovah's Witnesses were here again today. The usual guy Mack was here with a younger guy, Jordan. I let them know I have been reading the Bible. They were impressed. I let them know that I was skeptical. They encouraged skepticism, but cautioned me to be careful because it "takes a long time to … Continue reading Visit from the Witnesses
Put thy hands upon ears for there will be horns Trumpets from heaven and bowls of blood French kisses cut with double-edged tongues More numbers than math class They just don't add up My name's John. I'm a dealer with all the best drugs I took something strong to conjure this up Unclean stuff … Continue reading Acid Trips with Angels, aka Revelation (A Poem)